Time

“O Lord, make me know my end and what is the measure of my days; let me know how fleeting I am! Behold, you have made my days a few handbreadths, and my lifetime is as nothing before you. Surely all mankind stands as a mere breath! Selah" ~ Psalm 39: 4-5

"Let me know how fleeting I am." This part of the verse is the one that stands out to me the most.  Several times since my last post this has come up in my life.  Another verse that speaks to me right now:

"Look carefully then how you walk, not as unwise but as wise, making the best use of the time, because the days are evil. Therefore do not be foolish, but understand what the will of the Lord is." ~ Ephesians 5:15-17

I wanted to write this post a week ago, and I didn't.  I spoke it around in my head, but never set down with it.  Today I was reminded again that I need to write it down.  

I am a planner.  A scheduler.  I obsess about it to a degree.  I know for months what my days hold.  I don't do well with change.

"The heart of man plans his way, but the Lord establishes his steps." ~ Proverbs 16:9

I plan.  I schedule.  I obsess.  I have a hard time when things don't go as I want.  I can admit all this.  It is not in my hands though.  I have to remember that as long as I let God be in control, as long as He drives my path, that all will work to His good and glory.

I rushed through another moment in life today.  It's a moment that I look at now and think, this person may have been able to use a kind word, or a message.  God may have wanted to use me today with this person, but I rushed through the visit and moved on, more concerned with what I had on my schedule.  

My days are numbered, and I don't know what that number is.  Your day is numbered as well.  When I am asked by someone what I have been up to, my answer is work and running.  When I asked that today back, I got "family and work".  I can't remember what order that was in, but the point is, I didn't say family.  I have a family.  I spend time with my family.  I guess in my mind my time is spent working and running.  Is that reflective of my priorities?  I hope not and I don't feel like it is.  However, it maybe.  It may be how others see it.  How my family sees it.  I don't want that.  Technically two answers I should always first think of is God and my family.  Neither of which came up in my answer.  

It's important to take time and look at your life.  What are you spending time on?  Who is in control?  Do you rush through the moments of life, or do you stop and savor them?

Whirlwinds

This day has been a whirlwind of a day.  As I type that I remembered I got to see a whirlwind today.  Hm, was that a foreshadowing of the day?

I feel a little emotionally tired right now.  I will not say emotionally drained as I feel nothing like I have at times, but still very emotionally tired.  Blah.  Numb, no, not numb.  Just here.  Not sure what I feel.  I had to face some disappointment today from someone I had been depending on lately.  It reminds me that we are human and we will disappoint.  My heart breaks for a couple of people tonight.  I really don't know what to feel for them.  I have went back to a place today in my life that I forget about at times, and am thankful to have moved past it.  I know it is a weak area for me though and I know that Satan likes to bring things to the forefront that we like to push to the back, or maybe even bury.  God used it though.  I think anyway.  He seemed to have.  Regardless, it is not for me to know, only for me to be obedient in the direction He leads.

It was an up and down kind of day.  Disappointments.  Friendships.  Broken hearts.  Love.  Death. Laughter.  Exhaustion.  Hope.  It's been a whirlwind of a day.  Aside from seeing people hurt and aside from being hurt, I had some positive things come up as well.  My heart was outweighed at times with the heaviness, but there is light to shine through.  I left my wallet at a store yesterday afternoon and one of the guys working found it outside in a cart.  He took it back in and the store put it away for me.  Everything, even cash, was still there.  It brings me hope seeing that there are still honest people in the world.  I found a phone this weekend and we have been able to locate the owner.  He lives out of state, but will be getting in touch with a family member from the area and it will get returned to him.  That's always nice.  I had a great visit with two of my closest friends today.  One this morning on our run/walk, the other I got to eat supper with her and her family tonight.  One had to pay for my lunch, because it was there I discovered the missing wallet.  Thankful for friends and getting to share joys and sorrows with them.  I even got to visit with a third awesome lady today!  We vented, but with the day the venting was needed.  She is a positive lady in my life and someone I hold dear to me.  I don't get to visit with her often, but always am blessed when I do.  I pray God will bless her with rest and enjoyment very soon.

I am thankful today God has given me great friends, health, fitness level, opportunity, a job I love and much more.  He has blessed me beyond measure, and well beyond anything I could ever deserve.

A whirlwind of a day.  This morning as I ran in 70 degree weather in November, thinking how hot it was and how crazy that only a few days ago I was freezing, I was in the middle of a whirlwind.  The middle.  Interesting to me as well as I have seen them, but never been in one.  I have chased them, but never caught one.  I was running down the road and a wind grabbed leaves that had fallen to the ground in this changing of the seasons.  The leaves whirled around me and caught me by surprise.  It took me to being a kid and how I always wanted to be in one of those.  I think my friend next to me said something about that being odd, or weird or something.  I felt a sense of joy in it and didn't really hear her exact words.  I agreed and smiled enjoying that split moment.  The whirlwind of A day I have experienced leaves me feeling tired.  The whirlwind of THE day left me with a smile.  It reminds me that God is in everything.  He should be the center of our lives.  When He is, there is a peace.  Even tired, I feel peaceful.  Yes.  Peaceful, that is the word I was searching for earlier.  I kept trying to go to the other end of the spectrum, but the answer is the feeling of peace felt when God is the center of everything.  I am thankful that God is the center.  Without Him I would be numb.  With Him I am just at peace in the whirlwind.

Do You Know My Friend?

I had a conversation the other day with someone that I had always felt was not a Christian.  I know it is not my place to judge that.  I do.  I also know that we are to live our lives as The Bible tells us to so that others may see God within us.  We may be the only Bible some people read and so it is up to us to be sure and live our lives in a way that is pleasing to God and can share His love and truths with others.  Anyway, back to the point.  This person and I had a conversation.  As I was driving home I remember thinking about how nice that was to see that she believed in God.  I really respect this lady and think a lot of her so of course I want her to follow truth.  It quietly and quickly came to my realization that a lot of people believe in God, serve God, live for God, heal in God's name, etc.  The bible tells us this.  Matthew 7:22 says "On that day many will say to me, ‘Lord, Lord, did we not prophesy in your name, and cast out demons in your name, and do many mighty works in your name?’"  You see believing in God is not enough.  That is not what will get you to heaven.  John 14:6 says "Jesus said to him, “I am the way, and the truth, and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me."  If there is no relationship with the Lord and Savior Jesus Christ then there is no heaven in our future.  We must know Jesus and trust in Him as our Lord and Savior.  I can't imagine living life without Jesus in it.  My Heavenly Father is the Almighty!  He is powerful and strong and omnipotent.  And I am thankful for His mercy and grace.  And in that, I am thankful for His Son, the Savior, Jesus.  That Jesus is standing in the gap for me.  Without that, I would deserve nothing but hell.  Death.  Romans 6:23 says "For the wages of sin is death, but the free gift of God is eternal life in Christ Jesus our Lord." 

Do you know my friend Jesus?  I sure do hope so.  He is pretty amazing.  He is the best friend I could ever ask for.  He died for me, laid His life down that I might have life.  An abundant life.  And, WOW, has He blessed this poor, pathetic life.  He has given me so many opportunities and so much love! 

No excuses

We all have excuses.  We can all come up with excuses to do things that are not really something we want very badly or just something we don't think we will be successful doing.  I hear lots of excuses in my career.  Excuses as to why a student cannot come to class, or did not do their homework, or just didn't get the work turned in.  I hear excuses as to why a person cannot eat healthy or workout.  My reply...we all have excuses.  I admit that I need to pay more attention to this as well, as God gently reminds me, and sometimes very strongly reminds me, that we all have excuses.  I tend to fall short many times at not holding up my end of things for Him.  I fail Him daily and fall short.  I pray that I will be better about this.  One are weighing on me where I fall short recently is I had a bible study lingering over me for years and I finally got started on it a week ago tomorrow when I stayed home sick from work.  It has five days of "homework" to complete and then the next lesson.  I am only half way through the first homework.  I should have everything completed for this week. This is an area of my life that I need to commit to and do better on.

The Merriam-Webster dictionary defines commitment as "a promise to give or do something", "a promise to be loyal to someone or something", or "the attitude of someone who works very hard to do or support something".  I have to say this is a word that maybe if I use with my bible study I would do better at honoring it.  Honor...well, now that's just another word that has importance.  There are a lot of definitions of honor, but the one that stands out most to me is "one's word given as a guarantee of performance".

The whole beginning of this blog was about fitness, but as usual God turns it into something more.

So, where did this all start.  The other day I had a great, blessing of a day.  It was day nine of my commitment to Sophia.  I came home late, started supper, and decided to jump in the shower while supper finished cooking. I had already been asked earlier why I had to walk or run at least a mile for Sophia still after having hiked about four or five through the woods that day.  Well, those miles were not about exercise, or Sophia, those miles were coming in and out of the woods to try and provide food for my family.  Yes, I hunt.  Not for a trophy, but for food.  We eat everything we kill, and are very diligent in remaining legal with all our hunting.  I say all this to say, I was tired.  It had been a long day, had gotten up really early and put a lot of strain on my body already.  As I was getting ready to shower and call it a day, I remember Sweet Sophia.  I still had to do her mile for her.  I could have easily done a quarter of a mile.  I could have even easier continued with my plans and went to bed and just wrote it off for another day, and another thing I didn't get completed.  But I didn't. We all have excuses, I just decided to not make one.  I decided to honor the commitment that I made to this little girl and her family.  I am proud to say I did.  I went outside and again made laps around my house.  I am sure the neighbors and vehicles driving by thought I was a crazy person.  But I didn't care.  It was a commitment I made and I was going to honor it.  I felt good about it.

I could have made an excuse, or I could have made time.  I made time.  Everything you spend time on in life is a choice.  You choose to honor your commitments, or not.  You choose to honor your role as a parent, or not.  As an employee or not.  As a friend or not.  You decide whether you will take care of yourself or not. You have 24 hours in a day...and you choose how you spend it.  Will you honor God in your decisions or will you try to hide your face from Him?  Will you take care of the things God has blessed you with, or will you turn your back on His plan for your life?  What will make an excuse, or will you make time?

"But Moses said to the Lord, “Oh, my Lord, I am not eloquent, either in the past or since you have spoken to your servant, but I am slow of speech and of tongue.” Then the Lordsaid to him, “Who has made man's mouth? Who makes him mute, or deaf, or seeing, or blind? Is it not I, the Lord? Now therefore go, and I will be with your mouth and teach you what you shall speak.” But he said, “Oh, my Lord, please send someone else.” Then the anger of the Lord was kindled against Moses and he said, “Is there not Aaron, your brother, the Levite? I know that he can speak well. Behold, he is coming out to meet you, and when he sees you, he will be glad in his heart."  Exodus 4:10-14

"Or do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit within you, whom you have from God? You are not your own, for you were bought with a price. So glorify God in your body." 1 Corinthians 6:19-20

Virtues. Treasures.

I am not sure where this post will go.  I remember lying there after finishing a devotional and thinking it was time to write another post.  Not sure which devotional I was reading or what I am supposed to writing about.  This past Friday I showed up at work and was blessed with a pleasant surprise...I was voted Employee of the Day by the local radio station.  I am not sure what that really meant, but I got flowers and some gift certificates and lots of congratulations.  It definitely made me feel loved.  It was a nice hug from God that I needed.  Then Saturday I run my half marathon (#7 in 11 months) and got a  wonderful new PR.  I beat my best by 12 minutes!  So, my first race for my buddy Sophia I got a PR, and not just a PR, but one by 12 minutes!  The cool thing is that I never thought I would break 2:25:00 and I hit 2:15:52, all with Sophia pushing me forward with each step.  This little girl is such a positive in my life.  I had a great running partner that day.  It was a friend of mine who was running her first half, we jokingly call me her "personal running coach."  The cool thing is that she motivates me just as much or more than I do her.  She doesn't realize how much though.  Then had a nephew who ran his first half that day, surprised me with a thank you gift after the race.  It was very touching and meant more to me than he will realize.  So, God really took these two days and loved on me, and sent me lots of hugs.  It reaffirmed for me that I am where God is calling me to.  That may be what leads me to this post.

Proverbs 30:7-9 reads in the HCSB
"Two things I ask of You;
don’t deny them to me before I die:8 Keep falsehood and deceitful words far from me.Give me neither poverty nor wealth;feed me with the food I need.9 Otherwise, I might have too muchand deny You, saying, “Who is the Lord?”or I might have nothing and steal,profaning[a] the name of my God."

I love that I am right where God would have me to be.  He provides for me exactly what I need.  Sometimes I think that there are things that I would like to have or to do.  I mean I am human and we all want for certain things.  We collect things.  We buy things to have as our own.  But reality is that if you are a child of God then your belongings here are not your treasures.  You treasures are to be stored in heaven.  I have everything I need, and I praise God for that.  The things here on this earth, the material things, are just that...material.  And material can go up in flames in no time.  Material things can lead to us being bound and in more debt that we can wrap our heads around.  I have treasures stored in my heart tonight.  I got the blessing to train with a wonderful group of people for this past weekend's race.  They cannot begin to imagine how much I have enjoyed these past few months and training with them.  I have Sophia who is setting in my heart filling a space that keeps me moving forward, keeps me pushing ahead even on days when I don't feel like it.  I have friends and family who love me and support me in my adventures, who many times are right beside me in those adventures.  It's these things that add up to have the most meaning to me.  These verses tell me that life is lived on the inside.  It's what is in there that matters.  And God is in there.  He lives inside of me.  That is encouraging and makes me want to yell on the mountain tops.  I am blessed to have a half daughter that I get to help raise.  I pray that I will also be a role model to her that she can learn and grow from.  I want nothing but positive experiences for her life.  I pray that she will also look up for guidance in all the decisions of her life.  

I am in a play.  One of my lines stand out to me significantly, "He showed me that I must practice the virtues that I would have my daughters possess." That can mean so much.  We must live as we want our children to live.  We must live how we want other children in our lives to live.  It also reminds me that God has showed me the virtues that I should possess through His modeling of them when He lived on this earth as Jesus.  What a perfect model!  I am His daughter.  And He came to this earth to leave me a perfect set of virtues, ones that He would have me to possess.  He did the same thing for you.