Virtues. Treasures.

I am not sure where this post will go.  I remember lying there after finishing a devotional and thinking it was time to write another post.  Not sure which devotional I was reading or what I am supposed to writing about.  This past Friday I showed up at work and was blessed with a pleasant surprise...I was voted Employee of the Day by the local radio station.  I am not sure what that really meant, but I got flowers and some gift certificates and lots of congratulations.  It definitely made me feel loved.  It was a nice hug from God that I needed.  Then Saturday I run my half marathon (#7 in 11 months) and got a  wonderful new PR.  I beat my best by 12 minutes!  So, my first race for my buddy Sophia I got a PR, and not just a PR, but one by 12 minutes!  The cool thing is that I never thought I would break 2:25:00 and I hit 2:15:52, all with Sophia pushing me forward with each step.  This little girl is such a positive in my life.  I had a great running partner that day.  It was a friend of mine who was running her first half, we jokingly call me her "personal running coach."  The cool thing is that she motivates me just as much or more than I do her.  She doesn't realize how much though.  Then had a nephew who ran his first half that day, surprised me with a thank you gift after the race.  It was very touching and meant more to me than he will realize.  So, God really took these two days and loved on me, and sent me lots of hugs.  It reaffirmed for me that I am where God is calling me to.  That may be what leads me to this post.

Proverbs 30:7-9 reads in the HCSB
"Two things I ask of You;
don’t deny them to me before I die:8 Keep falsehood and deceitful words far from me.Give me neither poverty nor wealth;feed me with the food I need.9 Otherwise, I might have too muchand deny You, saying, “Who is the Lord?”or I might have nothing and steal,profaning[a] the name of my God."

I love that I am right where God would have me to be.  He provides for me exactly what I need.  Sometimes I think that there are things that I would like to have or to do.  I mean I am human and we all want for certain things.  We collect things.  We buy things to have as our own.  But reality is that if you are a child of God then your belongings here are not your treasures.  You treasures are to be stored in heaven.  I have everything I need, and I praise God for that.  The things here on this earth, the material things, are just that...material.  And material can go up in flames in no time.  Material things can lead to us being bound and in more debt that we can wrap our heads around.  I have treasures stored in my heart tonight.  I got the blessing to train with a wonderful group of people for this past weekend's race.  They cannot begin to imagine how much I have enjoyed these past few months and training with them.  I have Sophia who is setting in my heart filling a space that keeps me moving forward, keeps me pushing ahead even on days when I don't feel like it.  I have friends and family who love me and support me in my adventures, who many times are right beside me in those adventures.  It's these things that add up to have the most meaning to me.  These verses tell me that life is lived on the inside.  It's what is in there that matters.  And God is in there.  He lives inside of me.  That is encouraging and makes me want to yell on the mountain tops.  I am blessed to have a half daughter that I get to help raise.  I pray that I will also be a role model to her that she can learn and grow from.  I want nothing but positive experiences for her life.  I pray that she will also look up for guidance in all the decisions of her life.  

I am in a play.  One of my lines stand out to me significantly, "He showed me that I must practice the virtues that I would have my daughters possess." That can mean so much.  We must live as we want our children to live.  We must live how we want other children in our lives to live.  It also reminds me that God has showed me the virtues that I should possess through His modeling of them when He lived on this earth as Jesus.  What a perfect model!  I am His daughter.  And He came to this earth to leave me a perfect set of virtues, ones that He would have me to possess.  He did the same thing for you.

Feeling Blessed!

Today is one of those days where I feel like I was spinning my wheels.  You know those days where you just can't seem to get it together.  I would go to make copies and the copier was out of toner. I would go across campus to use the other copier only to get over there and realize I didn't have all the pieces of paper I thought I did.  So then I have to drive all over campus to find the papers I dropped, only to give up (it was windy today and I figured I would never find the papers as they probably had blown all over the place) and headed back to the office.  I get there to find the papers I couldn't find where located behind the garbage can under the edge of my desk.  All this eventually made me late getting back to my office and late to class.  I just sat in my car this morning as I drove to my office and asked God to just come help me.  I know that the "issues" I was having were small in the scheme of the world, but I also knew that I couldn't handle those little things with God coming to my aid.  My anxiety has been high these last few days and I just remember having to ask him to really come down and just walk with me today to help me keep my emotions in check.  I had great discussions in both of my classes.  And as the day has continued I just feel like God really showed up in my life today.  Nothing major, just really feeling his presence around me today.  I praise Him for that, as I know without Him I would be and could be nothing.

I was blessed today to not only get to run for my Sophia, but also we ran today in honor of a Marine who lost both his legs at his hips (which meant no prosthetic legs) and one of his arms while serving.  This guy continues to do all that he does though.  He skydives, skis, whatever he wants to do, he does.  I just love how he made the decision to not allow the obstacles to defeat him, he rose up and is defeating the obstacles.  I don't know this guy at all personally, but just from what I saw shared on him he is a light. I don't know what his faith is, but I know he has got some wonderful characteristics that we can all learn and grow from.  He has the ability to really reach out with his testimony and touch many lives. I pray for him today. I pray that if he doesn't know the Lord, that he will.  He could share God's love with so many.  He may be sharing already.  And even if not, he is living life in a way that shouts perseverance, persistence, victory, and much more.  Thank you to all our military that has served.  A special thanks to those who have lost a part of themselves while serving.  May you all be resilient. May you all feel God's love and touch on your lives.

I once heard this saying and it has really stuck with me..."Remember, you may be the only bible someone reads."  Live life today out loud.

Who Am I?

"Who am I, that the Lord of all the earth
Would care to know my name
Would care to feel my hurt?
Who am I, that the bright and morning star
Would choose to light the way
For my ever wandering heart?

Not because of who I am
But because of what you've done
Not because of what I've done
But because of who you are

I am a flower quickly fading
Here today and gone tomorrow
A wave tossed in the ocean
A vapor in the wind
Still you hear me when I'm calling
Lord, you catch me when I'm falling
And you've told me who I am
I am yours

Who am I, that the eyes that see my sin
Would look on me with love
And watch me rise again?
Who am I, that the voice that calmed the sea
Would call out through the rain
And calm the storm in me?"

I sat in church this morning and this song was one of the specials.  I have been meaning to learn sign language to this one for a long time and just never have.  I have several songs on my list that I want to learn.  As I listened the lyrics above (from Casting Crowns, Who Am I?), I was reminded that God has a plan and purpose for us all.  And it's bigger than we could ever imagine. I never have to be concerned about what people think of me though, as this song clearly reminds me that I know who I am in Him.  I am His child.  That's all that matters.  Any other label is not important to me. Of course, I want to be good at my job, being a wife and step-mother, sister, aunt, etc., but if I am solid in my relationship with Christ and always looking to Him, then He will mold me into who I need to be for others, with others for Him.  My preacher made a statement about us being a light for others.  I pray regularly to be the lighthouse for God's light to be seen. 

I was blessed these past couple of days to know that my buddy's dad decided to run The Color Run and push my sweet buddy along.  That puts a smile on my face.  I ran that race last year with a few friends and we had such a great time!  I am joyed to know that this sweet little girl gets to experience what it feels like to do such a race.  I have signed on recently to run a virtual run for my buddy.  She gets to pick the miles, then we both get a medal.  I have a headband that reads "In it for the bling", which is only half a joke.  Part of my love for the half marathon distance is the challenge and accomplishment of finishing.  However, my favorite part is crossing that finish line and getting a medal put on my neck.  I am so excited to get to share in that with sweet Sophia.  I actually have Gift of Life virtual run (with a medal) I will do for her at Christmas time too.  She doesn't know any of this yet, but I guess she will very soon.  :-)  I signed up for the Gift of Life Virtual Race before I even had my buddy.  I will be running 13.1 distance just for her alone.  I didn't know at the time who my miles would be for, but I knew God had something planned.  I can't express in words the joy that I have to be able to run for this little girl and to get to send her a medal too is a bonus.  

God has a purpose in everything He does and allows to be done.  I don't think He brings suffering to us, but He does allow freewill in our lives.  Sometimes it is our choices that bring about sorrow.  Sometimes we don't understand why we are going through what we are.  Or why such innocent, sweet, young spirits have to suffer.  But God gives me many promises to stand on and one of those is that He never leaves us.  I was reminded today that it is not always our path that we need to look at to determine if we are were God would have us to be.  Sometimes we are on a really rocky road, or a storm filled path.  But it is there, in our weakness, that God can show us how strong He is.  It is there that God sometimes uses us to help others.  It is there that God grows us into who He needs us to be for a plan He has in progress.  We may not always understand it right now, but one day He will take our struggles and use it to be a helping hand for someone else.  Think about the storms you see on this earth...is there not a rainbow afterwards?  

My Purpose Just Got Bigger and Better!!!

I have been connected with my match! I now run for and workout for a beautiful little girl name Sophia.  I am very excited to begin this next part of my journey.  I know God will grow me in this and I pray that He will bless Sophia and her family through this journey as well.

It's been a long few days and I am exhausted.  I am keeping things short for tonight as I prepare to go to bed.  However, I couldn't wait to let you know about Sophia.  Also, I ran 3 miles Monday in these new running shoes that are supposed to help treat my knee, feet, etc. pains.  So far so good.  One day in them and they felt wonderful!!!

"Seek the Lord and his strength; seek his presence continually!"  1 Chronicles 16:11

My Why

I figure at some point some of this post will go under the "About Me" page, but for now I figure the best way to start my blog is to tell you my why, a little history of how I got into fitness and running specifically.  I ran track in Junior High a little, and always enjoyed field day in elementary school.  About ten or eleven years ago I thought I would be a runner, but found out later that I was a sprinter.  I could sprint really fast for a very short distance, then had to walk.  I did that for a short while, played around with a 5k here and there just to give money to whatever group was doing the race.  Never really had purpose.  One year I tried the Women Run Arkansas Clinic and stuck with it for a matter a couple of weeks.  It was not my thing at all.  I used workout videos for years, just here and there, but never really stuck with anything.  I would meet with a friend to catch up and we would go walking or rollerblading for our time together, which was always fun and something I miss greatly now that she lives so far away.

Several years ago I tried Zumba for the first time and remember thinking that I enjoyed it, but felt like I could be a better instructor than the lady hosting the class. Not being arrogant, it just wasn't a good class, but I knew the type of class had a lot of potential.  And I felt like I could be one that people might enjoy as an instructor because I wasn't a fitness person in my background, nor a dancer.  So, I hoped that people could relate. So, it came up at work that they needed an Aerobics Instructor, so I got my Zumba Certification.  I have been teaching every since and hold a ladies fitness ministry locally that is free for all ladies who want to have devotional time, zumba, then prayer time together.  That is an opportunity God opened up for me that I have truly enjoyed and been so blessed by it.

In March 2012 I decided to try the WRA clinic again.  This time volunteered to help out so I would have some accountability.  I ended up leading warm up time and co-leading a running group that started with one minute of running.  Those were the hardest 60 seconds for me.  I wasn't sure I would be able to make it at all.  Somehow though I finished and was running 5k races.  I decided at that time to train for my first half marathon.  Not sure why I jumped from a 5k to a half marathon, but I did.  I was going to use it to help with increasing the awareness of Celiac and gluten intolerance so I joined Team Gluten Free and began my training.  I had learned that I was gluten intolerant myself prior to me starting the run clinic, and going gluten free allowed my body to quit hurting so bad, which allowed me to be able to run.  I signed up for St. Judes Half Marathon in December 2012.  This way my training had two purposes...to bring awareness about gluten intolerance/Celiac disease, and to help a wonderful hospital.

The first half was emotional.  I want to go back and do it again because honestly, I don't remember a lot about the race.  Somewhere around 7 or 8 miles I hit a wall and don't remember much from there.  I remember a few signs that brought tears to my eyes.  I remember a band playing contemporary praise music around mile 10 or so.  That was a  point that I remembered thinking I was ready to quit.  I saw the ambulance and remember thinking I could pull off right now and they would take me to the finish line.  Then the music started and I saw a sign about a little girl that said something to the idea of thanking us for running for their little angel.  I think a little boy may have been holding the sign.  And I cried.  Not sure if it was from the emotions or the intense pain my feet were now in.  I finished.  And I finished in right under two and a half hours, which was my goal.  I think I crawled after I hit the finish line.  I took my shoes off and had the biggest water blister I think I have ever seen.  I barely could get my shoes back on and actually had to drain it just so I could get my shoes on.  Okay, maybe too much information there.  It was bad.   I wasn't walking very well at all after that.  Thankfully I made my way to a Walgreens and found this white box with blue trim and writing that just said "Help...I have a blister".  Best thing in the world at that moment.    Even through all that I was hooked.  And did my second half marathon eight days later.  Since then I have completed a total of six and plan on number seven at the end of October.

I have learned through all this that God has a plan for my life.  It's not to beat any speed records, but to run with purpose.  I think my purpose may change from time to time, training to training, and race to race.  But I have a purpose.  My second and third race I had people running with me.  One of them I didn't know until race day.  What a blessing both of these runners were to me. They helped me and supported me at tough places in the races.  That third race I was not well.  I had anxiety like I hadn't in a while.  I had a whole group of runners surrounding me and supporting me.  Keeping with me so that I wasn't alone.  I can never thank these runners enough for what they did for me.  That race is my current PR (Personal Record).  I couldn't have done it with two people.  My friend David who ran every step with me, and walked the steps that I couldn't run.  Then with less than a mile left, my new friend Dave was there waiting on me to run me to the finish line.  For some reason I broke at that moment.  I have learned that right now 13.1 miles is a really big deal.  It may not be to those who run marathons, or ultras (100 milers specifically), but for me it's a big deal.  I still get emotional when I come up on that finish line.  It's a sweet thing with you have friends at your side.  This is where my purpose begins.

I have received other fitness certifications and licenses since Zumba.  I used them and love helping others get fit.  That is part of the blessing that God has given me in the ladies' ministry I lead.  Now with running I have found a new passion and a new way to let God use me.  I love helping others find the love for running.  I admit I don't love to run.  I have only felt that way after running a handful of times.  However, I do love running with others.  I don't run just for me.  Although I will say it is the only exercise God has used to begin to heal me.  I have an anxiety disorder and my heart rate always stayed over 100 bpm.  My resting was 102.  Now my resting heart rate is 53.  Yes 53!!!  That's almost half what it used to be.  That's a God thing!  I love running with others and watching them experience the victory of defeating a specific mileage for the first time.  Being at their side as they cross a finish line and realize what an accomplishment they just made.  I get to pray for them and their families, even though they don't always know it.  It's such a blessing for me to get to be a small part of such victories in others' lives.

I have learned in life that things are about finding balance with nutrition and fitness.  I have battled my own issues regarding food and exercise.  This is why I find it to be important to be the purposeful runner.  It would be so easy to fall back into unhealthy ways, but God has a plan for me.  And it's not to be self absorbed and unhealthy in my fitness.  It's to be balanced and to remember there is always a bigger purpose to the things God has me do.  Most of my races have been ran for me to a degree.  I ran one specifically for a friend to run her first half marathon and second race ever.  My very first half was also a good friend's first race; we did that one together.  The race coming up is not for me.  It's for the wonderful ladies and gentlemen that have spent that last almost three months training for this event.  It's about completing it with them.  I am also being matched up through a great organization called IRun4.  I can't wait to find out who my match is.  This is something I decided a couple of months ago that I needed to be a part of.  Running for myself wasn't working.  I couldn't stay focused.  I have a bad knee, bunions, chronic achilles tendonitis, a tight IT band, flat feet due to fallen arches....and the list could go on.  I really am the ideal person to not ever be able to run.  But God has another plan.  He has designed me to be the purposeful runner and I look forward to seeing what He is going to do in whatever lives He decides to bring me to.