My Why

I figure at some point some of this post will go under the "About Me" page, but for now I figure the best way to start my blog is to tell you my why, a little history of how I got into fitness and running specifically.  I ran track in Junior High a little, and always enjoyed field day in elementary school.  About ten or eleven years ago I thought I would be a runner, but found out later that I was a sprinter.  I could sprint really fast for a very short distance, then had to walk.  I did that for a short while, played around with a 5k here and there just to give money to whatever group was doing the race.  Never really had purpose.  One year I tried the Women Run Arkansas Clinic and stuck with it for a matter a couple of weeks.  It was not my thing at all.  I used workout videos for years, just here and there, but never really stuck with anything.  I would meet with a friend to catch up and we would go walking or rollerblading for our time together, which was always fun and something I miss greatly now that she lives so far away.

Several years ago I tried Zumba for the first time and remember thinking that I enjoyed it, but felt like I could be a better instructor than the lady hosting the class. Not being arrogant, it just wasn't a good class, but I knew the type of class had a lot of potential.  And I felt like I could be one that people might enjoy as an instructor because I wasn't a fitness person in my background, nor a dancer.  So, I hoped that people could relate. So, it came up at work that they needed an Aerobics Instructor, so I got my Zumba Certification.  I have been teaching every since and hold a ladies fitness ministry locally that is free for all ladies who want to have devotional time, zumba, then prayer time together.  That is an opportunity God opened up for me that I have truly enjoyed and been so blessed by it.

In March 2012 I decided to try the WRA clinic again.  This time volunteered to help out so I would have some accountability.  I ended up leading warm up time and co-leading a running group that started with one minute of running.  Those were the hardest 60 seconds for me.  I wasn't sure I would be able to make it at all.  Somehow though I finished and was running 5k races.  I decided at that time to train for my first half marathon.  Not sure why I jumped from a 5k to a half marathon, but I did.  I was going to use it to help with increasing the awareness of Celiac and gluten intolerance so I joined Team Gluten Free and began my training.  I had learned that I was gluten intolerant myself prior to me starting the run clinic, and going gluten free allowed my body to quit hurting so bad, which allowed me to be able to run.  I signed up for St. Judes Half Marathon in December 2012.  This way my training had two purposes...to bring awareness about gluten intolerance/Celiac disease, and to help a wonderful hospital.

The first half was emotional.  I want to go back and do it again because honestly, I don't remember a lot about the race.  Somewhere around 7 or 8 miles I hit a wall and don't remember much from there.  I remember a few signs that brought tears to my eyes.  I remember a band playing contemporary praise music around mile 10 or so.  That was a  point that I remembered thinking I was ready to quit.  I saw the ambulance and remember thinking I could pull off right now and they would take me to the finish line.  Then the music started and I saw a sign about a little girl that said something to the idea of thanking us for running for their little angel.  I think a little boy may have been holding the sign.  And I cried.  Not sure if it was from the emotions or the intense pain my feet were now in.  I finished.  And I finished in right under two and a half hours, which was my goal.  I think I crawled after I hit the finish line.  I took my shoes off and had the biggest water blister I think I have ever seen.  I barely could get my shoes back on and actually had to drain it just so I could get my shoes on.  Okay, maybe too much information there.  It was bad.   I wasn't walking very well at all after that.  Thankfully I made my way to a Walgreens and found this white box with blue trim and writing that just said "Help...I have a blister".  Best thing in the world at that moment.    Even through all that I was hooked.  And did my second half marathon eight days later.  Since then I have completed a total of six and plan on number seven at the end of October.

I have learned through all this that God has a plan for my life.  It's not to beat any speed records, but to run with purpose.  I think my purpose may change from time to time, training to training, and race to race.  But I have a purpose.  My second and third race I had people running with me.  One of them I didn't know until race day.  What a blessing both of these runners were to me. They helped me and supported me at tough places in the races.  That third race I was not well.  I had anxiety like I hadn't in a while.  I had a whole group of runners surrounding me and supporting me.  Keeping with me so that I wasn't alone.  I can never thank these runners enough for what they did for me.  That race is my current PR (Personal Record).  I couldn't have done it with two people.  My friend David who ran every step with me, and walked the steps that I couldn't run.  Then with less than a mile left, my new friend Dave was there waiting on me to run me to the finish line.  For some reason I broke at that moment.  I have learned that right now 13.1 miles is a really big deal.  It may not be to those who run marathons, or ultras (100 milers specifically), but for me it's a big deal.  I still get emotional when I come up on that finish line.  It's a sweet thing with you have friends at your side.  This is where my purpose begins.

I have received other fitness certifications and licenses since Zumba.  I used them and love helping others get fit.  That is part of the blessing that God has given me in the ladies' ministry I lead.  Now with running I have found a new passion and a new way to let God use me.  I love helping others find the love for running.  I admit I don't love to run.  I have only felt that way after running a handful of times.  However, I do love running with others.  I don't run just for me.  Although I will say it is the only exercise God has used to begin to heal me.  I have an anxiety disorder and my heart rate always stayed over 100 bpm.  My resting was 102.  Now my resting heart rate is 53.  Yes 53!!!  That's almost half what it used to be.  That's a God thing!  I love running with others and watching them experience the victory of defeating a specific mileage for the first time.  Being at their side as they cross a finish line and realize what an accomplishment they just made.  I get to pray for them and their families, even though they don't always know it.  It's such a blessing for me to get to be a small part of such victories in others' lives.

I have learned in life that things are about finding balance with nutrition and fitness.  I have battled my own issues regarding food and exercise.  This is why I find it to be important to be the purposeful runner.  It would be so easy to fall back into unhealthy ways, but God has a plan for me.  And it's not to be self absorbed and unhealthy in my fitness.  It's to be balanced and to remember there is always a bigger purpose to the things God has me do.  Most of my races have been ran for me to a degree.  I ran one specifically for a friend to run her first half marathon and second race ever.  My very first half was also a good friend's first race; we did that one together.  The race coming up is not for me.  It's for the wonderful ladies and gentlemen that have spent that last almost three months training for this event.  It's about completing it with them.  I am also being matched up through a great organization called IRun4.  I can't wait to find out who my match is.  This is something I decided a couple of months ago that I needed to be a part of.  Running for myself wasn't working.  I couldn't stay focused.  I have a bad knee, bunions, chronic achilles tendonitis, a tight IT band, flat feet due to fallen arches....and the list could go on.  I really am the ideal person to not ever be able to run.  But God has another plan.  He has designed me to be the purposeful runner and I look forward to seeing what He is going to do in whatever lives He decides to bring me to.